I'll tell you what I want
the key truths taught in Buddhism cover the following four things (come on, you can handle just four):
(i) life is suffering;
(ii) suffering is caused by wanting;
(iii) we can end suffering if we end wanting; and
(iv) well, there is a specific path to do so (I mean, of course there is, huh? but it involves begging for food and abandoning all the lovely modern things and thoughts I need so let's not go there).
what always gets me right in the feels with these truths is number two - suffering is caused by wanting - it makes me think wanting deprives us of contentment and happiness. it's saying to me that a lifetime spent wanting, craving and clinging to states, status and things (impermanent or material stuff) is incapable of satisfying or is downright painful, and lead us to a mundane life.
almost nobody wants a mundane life, right? and I've been wondering, in my polite ponderings on hope and all that, what is the correct way to want? what is the way to pick a goal and push for it? and if we want to achieve something will we always suffer? or should we?
[I mean, really I should have paid attention to number one and just rolled with it, but I'm all about that wanting]
today, I saw a girl my age take charge of our meeting and hammer out whiteboard solutions for my secondment project. she was fierce, she was determined and most of all she wanted us to find the answers because she knows the value of this project to her community.
and I think that's how wanting can be a positive force - when it gives you direction and purpose. when it makes you strong, and has other people watching on like "wow, that girl knows what's up". I think if we are unclear and passive about our wants, then other people will come along and rule us with theirs.
I want to be like that girl today. I want to be compelled in a direction, not to grab at things, but to run with ideas, to lead the way and to find a path worth suffering on.